Critical Fatwa

We are arbiters of music, not ideals. So all hail Crass, who made great music in spite of its goofball politics. From the silly socialism of Rage Against the Machine to the street capitalism of 50 Cent, the music is the message. So we do not deliver a fatwa against Prussian Blue, the newest teen sensation on the White Power circuit, because of the pair's odious beliefs. No, we fatwa these two adorable thirteen-year-old Aryans because they are horrid, horrid singers.

We would not bother with the "white-power Olsen twins," who perform folk versions of white-power classics, if the mainstream media did not insist on giving them attention they didn't deserve. Had they the voices of angels, we'd have something to talk about. But even though their toneless voices should keep them playing the third stage at the county fair, America is so crazed about race that it will make anti-stars of these Hitler youth.

Fatwa! Fatwa on these girls who have reached the age of reason -- and their mother, their fans and the media that is so frightened about race that it cannot see that this führer wears no clothes. They all deserve each other. May they all know it. It is written.