Jack Daniel's and Coke

Ohio Pete called early last Thursday. "What time are you getting to the Cowboy Bar?" he asked. "We were there yesterday," I told him. "But we planned our trip because we met you there last year on a Thursday," he whined. Too bad, Ohio Pete: There's no postponing this cattle call. One day every year, Lew Cady rounds up a bunch of party animals for an afternoon at the National Western Stock Show, and this round started last Wednesday at 12:12 p.m. in the Coliseum, where we wandered around looking at never-stick pots and trying the lavender headache-relief stick ("Only Lavender Farm in Colorado!") — which actually triggered a headache — and eating an order of Swirly Spuds, made with a Black & Decker drill and covered with cheese and chili. Finally, we headed to the basement of the Hall of Education and the Cowboy Bar — or, as I like to call it, the happiest place on earth. There we continued to build our base with free peanuts and chunks of cheese that Lew cut off with his pocket knife (let's just say that the TSA does not man the front door at the Stock Show). And I needed all the help I could get, because my drink of choice in this bar is Jack and Coke ($6.50). The only thing flowing faster than the booze was the B.S. Our friend Andy the Bullrider started insisting that the bald eagle is one of two North American animals born with ivory (wrong); someone else bet that it's five hours earlier in Hawaii (it's three). We saw lots of old friends — including our favorite Drew Carey look-alike cop and the same fabulous female bartenders — and made new ones, like the Canuck Canoodler. The Stock Show runs a few more days, so grab your wallet and your hat, and head down there to lasso up enough fun to last you until next year. And say hi to Ohio Pete for me.

Use this map to see where Nancy Levine's been drinking.