Balch's time on the reality dating show was marked by broken bones and a life-threatening ATV crash, but her physical injuries took a back seat to her agonizing relationship with Brennan Shoykhet, the stranger she was assigned to marry by the show's so-called love experts. Despite initial chemistry, Balch and Shoykhet's union devolved into a series of bitter blowout fights over 25 episodes.
Both newlyweds accused the other of cheating, controlling the show's narrative and causing their eventual separation. While Balch enjoyed public sympathy early on, viewers turned on her after her emotional, frustrated outbursts during the reunion special. By the time the show's first Denver-based season concluded in April, Emily was declared the villain.
"I've gotten called every name under the sun, but after all I went through this season and who I am regardless, I've never really cared what people think," Balch tells Westword. "I'm proud of myself. Take it or leave it."
After the show completed filming, Balch had surgery on her two broken wrists, continued therapy, traveled, adopted a puppy and moved in next door to her Married at First Sight co-star Becca. At her new home, she watched the episodes air with Becca, Clare and Lauren, as the women took turns facing an onslaught of online harassment based on whoever's actions viewers found objectionable that week.
Just over a month after the show finished airing, the thirty-year-old account executive continues to deal with the fallout. Balch's Instagram comments are filled with insults in the hundreds, she's lost friendships...and she's still fighting to legally divorce Shoykhet.
Emily and Brennan (far right) with their fellow Married at First Sight cast members.
The DeLaCastros Wedding Photographers
Westword: What has the viewer response been like after the show? How have you dealt with it?
Emily Balch: The girls and I call it "riding the wave." As the last few episodes aired, the viewers saw what some would say is a different side of Emily, and it left people confused about "Was she the real person when the show was airing?" A camp of people stayed on team Emily for a while, but there has definitely been the most negative feedback and social media comments after the reunion. I've gotten called every name under the sun, but after all I went through this season and who I am regardless, I've never really cared what people think.
Having the girls has been super helpful. We kind of take turns with who has it worse each week. But I have no regrets, even though I have some haters. I can't imagine where I'd be in my life if I didn't do this. I didn't anticipate the journey going the way that it did, but I believe every single thing had to happen to get me to now. ... I didn't think I would come out with three new best friends, but I can't imagine it going any other way. It's been great, especially because I lost a lot of friends through this process and had to set some boundaries with some family members.
You lost friends? Why is that?
Yeah, it kind of happened to all of us on different levels. It shows who the true people are in your life when serious things happen. ... When I had to totally disconnect from the world and focus on the process and the marriage, it was crazy how people responded. Some of my friends made it about them and showed their true colors. It brought to light a lot of the toxic relationships I had in my life that I needed to cut.
During the reunion, you said your friend Lillie was now your "ex-best friend." Is that because of those issues, or because of what happened with her and Brennan?
After reflecting and losing her as a friend, I think our relationship was a little bit toxic for longer than I realized. She was my maid of honor. She was, I thought, supportive in the beginning. But after watching [the show], she wasn't happy for me, it looked like — some of the comments she was making at my reveal, the dinner and the wedding. I still don't know if what Brennan said is true or not — that my friends at the wedding told him I like one-night stands. I can't really see any of them doing that, but if any of them did, it would've been Lillie.
[Lillie and Brennan] ended up texting, and Lillie told me that Brennan was telling the guys he wanted to have sex with her. She got meddled in and crossed some lines near the end that weren't okay. ... I also know Lillie was the one who told Brennan about the Australian, because I only told Becca and Lillie. ... She's just one example of a few that I found out about Brennan when it comes to potential emotional or physical cheating.
Tell me about the Australian. The reunion revealed that you kissed an Australian man, but it wasn't discussed much.
The Australian got a little messy. It was something I didn't hide from [Brennan]. I didn't tell him right away because I felt guilty, and I knew if I told him, that would've been his out, to blame this on me and get out of the relationship. But [the Australian] did kiss me. I didn't go home with him, like Brennan wants to say that I did. It was after Brennan moved out for the first time and we were definitely on a friend reset.
Lillie and I went out, and we got approached at the bar. When I was leaving to walk home, the Australian stopped me and was like, "Do you want to get one more drink?" So I said, "Sure." I had no idea Brennan knew about the Australian until that FaceTime when I called him to fix stuff. As much as he said on the reunion, "Why didn't you tell me?," he didn't tell me, either. ... It wasn't me going out and seeking it. I wasn't going out to prove I can get a guy. It was nothing like that. It just kind of happened.
If I had to take accountability about something this season, this would be it. But do I feel bad or guilty about it? No. Was it not my best moment? Yeah. But it was less about the "cheating" — from me and the Australian, and from Brennan and the double dates and the texts and him sliding into Clare's friend's DMs. It was more about me always trying to prove that Brennan was never in this from the very beginning. He was very ill-intentioned, and it was something I was trying to prove, because he would never admit to that.
Did anything happen in the show that you felt was misrepresented? Any edits you thought were unfair or something big you were shocked didn't air?
When it comes to editing, I was very stern with myself to stay authentic and be myself through the process. That's something I can confidently say I did fully the whole time. Between me always being direct, honest and authentic, and Brennan being Brennan, there was really no need to edit anything. It was just the circus that was our relationship. ... I feel lucky and fortunate that my story was told in the true light that it happened. I'm proud of myself. Take it or leave it. People may hate it, but I have no regrets.
Chloe wears purple while the rest of the women wear pink during the reunion episode of the first Denver-based season of Married at First Sight.
Lifetime
Brennan and I don't speak. He did reach out to me the day after the reunion to see if I wanted to talk and get "closure," and I was like, "No, I got closure at the reunion. Anytime next you want to talk to me should be through your lawyer." Around the same time, he wanted to try to get an annulment, and I said, "No, I want a divorce, considering that you told all of America divorce isn't an option and it's the only option you gave us." ... Now, everything's through our lawyers, and hopefully, I'll be able to put him in the past.
So you're still legally married?
Still legally married, correct.
And you're not getting the annulment? It's going to be a divorce?
Yeah, as of today that's the plan. We'll see what progresses. ... I don't want to make it complicated; I'm not trying to be petty — I just truly want this done. Hopefully, he's going to oblige, because I don't want to go to court. But we'll see. I never know with him. Obviously, I don't trust him.
Are you dating anyone right now?
Absolutely not. I did go on a date to get myself back out there and check that box. But shortly after that, I realized this is the last thing I truly have the capacity for. ... I don't anticipate getting out there. I've never been a [dating] apps girl, so I'm not dying to go back. I want to make sure I'm in a good spot personally and continue to work on myself to be the best person and partner for someone else. So until that time comes, I won't be pursuing dating, per se.
But I'm always open to meeting someone through organic mutual connection. If those opportunities arise, it's something I usually won't say no to. I need to keep getting dating experience since I went from zero to 100 with this whole never-had- a-relationship-to-marriage thing.
Looking back on the chaos this experience brought to your life, would you ever do a dating show again?
Ah, my life is always chaotic. I'm a very messy, chaotic person. This just added a new layer of complexity to the chaos that I wasn't used to experiencing before. I would definitely do a reality show again — maybe a challenge show, since I'm pretty competitive. Dating? I'm not going to say I won't. I think whatever opportunities the universe presents you happen for a reason, whether or not you know what that reason is in the beginning. There are always lessons to be learned. ... If the opportunity presented itself, I would seriously consider it.
