Howler Monkey The ancient Mayans, on the other hand -- they might have been on to something. Back when they were plotting out their ridiculously long calendar, they celebrated the howler monkey as a god of the arts. Interestingly, the howler monkey god's depictions almost always featured two monkeys, not just one, and it turns out there might have been a reason for that -- science tells us that if two howler monkeys see their shadows at the same time, it sparks an electromagnetic anomaly that, like the butterfly that flaps its wings and the hurricane that results, can have some far-ranging and freaky-ass avante-garde consequences. During the last known example of this phenomenon, Williamsburg hipsters were observed to have become compelled, seemingly without cause, to create performance art pieces that involved opening cans of Spaghetti-O's and smearing that shit all over themselves.
Wolverine Objectively speaking, the wolverine is pretty much the most badass animal ever to exist. A fearless loner built like a tightly wound coil made out of razors, it has been known to fight bears twenty times its size and climb mountains for no discernible purpose but just to do it. Luckily for humanity, nothing really happens when the wolverine sees its shadow. Because if it did, God help us.