Did You Ever Believe Him?

When Snoop Dogg announced on social media late last week that he had given up smoking, the media erupted. Had the world's most popular pothead just quit the plant? News outlets from the Associated Press to NPR to Delish — wait, what? Delish? — covered Snoop's alleged retirement, with Google searches for phrases such as "quit weed" jumping over 1,000 percent around the globe.

“After much consideration & conversation with my family, I’ve decided to give up smoke," Snoop's statement read. “Please respect my privacy at this time.”

This wasn't the first time Snoop had said he was quitting cannabis — and he never really did say exactly that. And we never really believed him, either. Just as Aaron Rodgers was "immunized" from COVID-19 upon being asked if he was vaccinated, Snoop issued a carefully worded statement designed to lead us astray. We're just surprised people fell for it.

Sure, his statement included phrases that are hard to follow up, things like "conversation with my family" and "please respect my privacy." But those are the same phrases I used for skipping high school field trips or college algebra when I didn't have a better excuse. Rumors also surfaced of a possible edibles venture coming from Snoop, while plenty of fans thought it was a publicity stunt to drum up attention.

After he released another Instagram video earlier today, November 20, promoting a smokeless stove, we have the answer.

“I know what you thinking: ‘Snoop, smoke is kind of your whole thing.’ But I’m done with it. Done with the coughing and my clothes smelling all sticky icky. I’m going smokeless: Solo Stove fixed fire. They take out the smoke. Clever," he says, before quietly roasting marshmallows and chuckling.

This is a guy who infamously pays someone to be his personal blunt roller. Just about every seasoned celebrity has a story about how high they've gotten with Snoop Dogg. Here's a snippet of one N.O.R.E. told me in 2020 involving the police:

"Right after all the Death Row Records shit, Snoop wants to meet with me in a hotel in New York that he supplied. Some real Frank White shit. On our way up there, the alarm is going off for like six floors, and when we get to his door, there are police standing in front of the door," the East Coast rapper and popular podcast host said. "So we're thinking that it can't be Snoop's room, but then the police are just like, 'You here for Snoop?' The police were protecting Snoop so he could smoke! This guy had pounds everywhere, in New York City, that he brought in. I was just like, 'Holy moly guacamole,' and we kept smoking, smoking and smoking."

Not only is Snoop the stoner of all stoners, but he's also very much for sale. He's been in advertisements for Nickelodeon shows, fast-food giants, Corona beer and flaccid-dick pills (with a disclaimer that he doesn't need them, but you might). And don't forget about that time he quit rapping to focus on reggae and adopted the name Snoop Lion.

To persuade us of his big life decision, Snoop put his acting chops to use. In a handful of posts on Instagram following the major announcement, Snoop solemnly stares into the camera with tears in his eyes or poses in a black-and-white selfie with the caption "Natural high."

Again, this didn't sell me, nor should it have convinced the millions of his pot-smoking fans who've seen Baby Boy, Starsky & Hutch or Training Day a thousand times. Snoop can really act when he wants to. And if you pay him a butttload of cash to say he's giving up ash for a few days, then tears will flow.

No hate here. This is genius and mostly harmless marketing, depending on how you view the dangers of smoking. Snoop and a small list of celebrities like Charles Barkley and Nicolas Cage have reached this rare air by unapologetically being themselves for so long that we accept just about anything they do with a smile and then request more.

That won't get me to buy a $230 fire pit, sweet as it looks, but salute to the Doggfather. You almost had us.

Our partner paper, the Dallas Observer, has more on the Snoop story here.