During the governor's hour-long speech on Thursday, January 11, audience response was frequently split down the middle. Progressives gave standing ovations for mentions of preschool funding and abortion access while conservatives maintained a stony silence; in turn, GOP lawmakers yelled and stomped in celebration of the governor's calls to lower income tax rates as the Democrats looked on impassively.
But one thing brought both sides of the aisle together, if only momentarily: Polis's nerdy dad jokes.
Regardless of party affiliation, the audience briefly united in polite laughter as the governor attempted to bring levity to an already tense political year. For those who missed the State of the State, we've broken down the jokes from best to worst:
1. Rockies Roast
The most popular quips by far came at the expense of Colorado's own Rockies baseball team. Amid a high point for Colorado sports brought on by the recent Nuggets and Avalanche championship wins, the Rockies remain one of only five major league teams that have never won a World Series.
While alluding to rumors that he might be eyeing a presidential run, Polis said he was finally ready to announce his future plans: "I will be trying out for the Colorado Rockies this spring. ... Frankly, we all know they could use the help." He later circled back for another dig at the team while discussing expanding public transit, saying Coloradans could finally "head downtown to see me play in a World Series championship game."
2. Roman Empire
How often do you think about the Roman Empire? That was the question posed in a TikTok trend a few months back, with many young men saying the ancient civilization inexplicably crosses their minds on a daily or weekly basis. Albeit a bit late, Polis hopped on this trend Thursday, declaring, "Housing policy that creates more affordable choices for Coloradans is my Roman Empire."
The joke didn't immediately land for the crowd of mostly middle-aged to senior adults. But it was still one of the best of the day, with the younger political staffers giggling as Polis added, "If you don't get that joke, feel free to ask someone from Gen Z."
3. Yoda Impression
For the second year in a row, Polis gave his best Yoda impression during the address. This time around, he said Colorado must deliver on housing and transit solutions because "Do or do not. There is no try." Last year, he used the voice to say "Two available jobs for every unemployed person, Colorado has."
But that wasn't the day's only nod to a beloved character: The governor also channeled Spock when discussing rising housing costs — "To do nothing would be 'highly illogical,' as Spock would say" — and Mr. Rogers for public transit: "What a wonderful day in Mr. Rogers's neighborhood, and soon more neighborhoods across our state." But it was obvious that he hadn't put the same time and passion into those voices as he did Yoda's.
4. Applause From NobodyICYMI: For the second year in a row, Governor Jared Polis busted out his Yoda impression during the State of the State address this morning. pic.twitter.com/1sygKo4PHc
— Hannah Metzger (@hnmetzger) January 11, 2024
Like the rest of his State of the State address, Polis's jokes are scripted ahead of time and displayed on a teleprompter for him to read aloud at the event. But one of the most crowd-pleasing comments of the day marked a rare bit of improvisation from the governor.
Democratic and Republican legislators took turns exchanging passive-aggressive standing ovations in response to Polis's remarks — Democrats applauding environmental investments while Republicans clapped for tax cuts, and so on. But when the governor suggested progressive reforms to TABOR refunds that would include income tax cuts, the room went silent. "Isn't that great? We got applause from nobody," Polis laughed. "Which means we all agree. It's a compromise."
5. Sesquicentennial
We're now getting to the lower-quality jokes. Just as he did in 2023, Polis quipped that everyone "needs to learn to pronounce sesquicentennial" as Colorado approaches its 150th birthday. While the new Yoda impression felt like an homage to last year, explicitly repeating the same sesquicentennial joke felt lazy. The joke might have been funnier the first time, but hearing it two years in a row dulls the charm.
6. Sci-Fi Novels
Not all of Polis's improvisations hit as intended. The first joke of the speech appeared to be off-script, with Polis lauding Colorado's quantum industry as something beyond most futuristic movies and novels — "most of which I've read," he noted. There was some polite laughter throughout the room: Not a strong start, but he had to warm up the crowd for the coming Rockies ridicule somehow.
7. Planes, Trains and Automobiles
The remark that received the smallest audience reaction was when the governor talked about expanding a passenger rail system throughout the state, saying, "We have the planes and we have the automobiles; we just need the trains." This is almost more of a pun than a joke, but the pause for laughter and the quiet scattered chuckles throughout the room earned it a spot on this list.
8. Colorado vs. Utah Skiing
Promoting his "Disagree Better" campaign with Republican Utah Governor Spencer Cox, Polis encouraged Colorado legislators to stop seeing each other as enemies and start viewing one another as colleagues who disagree on certain matters. "For instance, Governor Cox and I can't agree on which state has better skiing, even though it's obviously Colorado," he said.
Maybe it was the self-promotion of his initiative, the comparing of political issues to recreational activities, or just the way he fake-whispered "it's obviously Colorado," but this quip simply did not land — securing its status as the worst joke of the State of the State.
You can watch the livestream of the 2024 State of the State address to judge the jokes for yourself. And, you know, for the politics, too.
